-public urged not to eat the fish from susquehanna river

(Manor Township, Pa.) Residents are urged not to eat the fish from the susquehanna river. An incident involving a cheating couple last week has infected the local fish in the area. Witnesses say that sometime earlier in the week a resident of river road witnessed a man having sex with a women. When confronted it was determained that they were co workers from a local store. The claimed that it was the only place they could have sex without being caught. Hazmat was called in and fish samples were taken resulting in the local fish population catching the herpes virus. Fisherman are urging the residents not to eat the fish until further notice. The contamination is expected to last decades!