Son of none…

Dear Son of none,

It has been six long years since I gave birth to you. I see in the pictures you are growing up so big. You look so much like me and your daddy. I wanted to write you this letter so that me and you could clear the air. I heard you were upset because you think I spend more time chasing your little handicapped sister around and it is true. You see it is so much easier for me to act like I care because she is easy to access and you aren’t. You see I don’t have a a car, or house that I pay for myself, and honestly she is sick so I love her more than I love you. Your safe with your nanny, and pappy, and it’s ok if I only see you once or twice in during the year so suck it up butter cup. Your little sister is just more important then you are. Maybe one day you will understand that I sat there and didn’t say a word in that court room bc I knew I didn’t want you anyways. Why would I want a child whos father beat me up while I was pregnant with you? Why do I want that reminder that you are half him, and that I would have to look at that. I know it sounds harsh but lets just keep things simple. Facts are facts and on top of it I am mentally ill and can’t deal with the fact that I can’t stop using drugs, or being a alcoholic while making porn with random men on the internet. I mean it’s probably for the best so I can feed my addictions. Again maybe one day you will understand. I love bragging about you to make myself look good, but honestly I don’t know how to be your mother.

Karen the greatest mom ever!